My journal is a combination of public and friends only entries.

As of 30th November 2011, comments from non-friends are screened.
Edit: from 1st September, 2016 only anon comments are screened.



Banner courtesy of luthiens_dream

It is a small thing to be able get up from chair for a few minutes and shake my booty or to step and wave glow sticks. I was in a room with mainly fit and young women and it would have been easy to feel sorry for myself and slip away. "Forget the twerk Vivienne!! You are too old, too fat, too unsteady" so say the insidious voices in my head.

Yet all my life I have danced and my body and the music sometimes reached a point where I was the music, I was the dance and could laugh and singing with the rest of the class.

Last night was led by Hannah Bailey. She was as indomitable as ever her usual self despite the pain and discomfort she must be in from her treatment. I do not have to imagine what she is going through as I have witnessed enough. She is very open about her treatment, a fighter and she can laugh about it with a wicked grin. She is one of my heroes. What I have is mechanical and even the severe reaction to steroids as dramatic the symptoms was capable of being handled with a combination of medication and therapy.

So I did what I could and even lost myself in the music, which pleased me very much. As with hundreds of others I am offering Hannah cheerleading support and give to her chosen charity when I can in her name. If she pops over here with a like on fact I did my squats or attended a class well that is a bonus for me.

Dancing even if in my imagination, in memory, in dream or on the inner is dancing. So last night I whispered a quiet "Yes I can" and stood for a few minutes and even twerked. It was dark, we had glowstcks and everyone was kind.

As Marc Bolan sang in Cosmic Dancer "I was dancing when I was twelve. ...." - I will never forget how I responded to hearing him on record and later live. A brother, a self, a soul kin. The day he died well... I need not describe to some here what that felt like. I even copied his hair style for many years. My Bolan years ....

Quite a day! Most of the men were absent today.

Spent first hour with Leia and brought 'Vader's Little Princess' for her to look through. She loved it. Apparently her parents have another book the author. I told her about how inspiring Leia was when I first saw the film in 1977. This led to a talk about all seven films, parodies, etc. and future plans. I turned her onto the twitter feed on Spielberg. We talked swimsuits in reference to something Leona had posted. Then clothes in general.

Then it was time for group on Sleep and Dreaming. Steve, Amy, a nurse, and myself were seated across from each other in triangle shape. They led and I shared my experience of keeping dream journal etc. Made it possible for couple of others to share their dreams. He covered insomnia, sleep debt and other areas linked to mental and physical health. Steve also coined a new word 'The Mody'.

Regarding StevetAE - he is adamant he is not doing therapy but helping us express ourselves through art though he is facilitating all our groups. Amy supported me when after spotting a steampunk bonsai created by him that he was my long-lost twin brother. He seemed surprised but all the evidence is there.

This happened during card making session overseen by Amy. Talked to Becky (Rebecca) about swimming. She has epilepsy and worried they would not want her. She is also on crutches. The Olympics was also big topic.

Back home I dealt with Pet Crematorium and new card and plaque for Bedwyr/Biggie's casket will be collectable from Friday. Got materials ready for tomorrow and did some de-cluttering. Found bus pass and driving license (picture). Now only my Blue Badge is missing.

Talked to Estelle and made plans to see each in a few days. Lucky woman is off to Glastonbury soon!

My sleepiness most of Sunday and then 2 deep sleeps means that I am bright eyed and bush tailed and if a bit of a sleepyhead. I am staying up to read feeds and listen to the Radio. Not too loud but enough..

Without going into loads of background material the stars must be doing something. Part of me knows the answer to that question or where to look or who to ask yet.... Plus, would take far too long to write up. Trust that the universe will remember or point out next step.

I dreamt again of my animus but I could not put a name to him. Good because I need to on focus here and now.without distraction yet. I know I am loved deeply. If the other comes into my life then it will be part of the plan and the fulfilling of our True Wills. Things in me have shifted a gear and with that comes new challenges.

The future is unwritten (or just a draft) and can be hard to wait and see,

Looking back over my entries I have decided to return to some public entries.

Before the end of November 2011 I did many public entries that I am now fine for people to see. Anon comments are screened and no abuse tolerated.

marvo remains a permanent memorial journal.

Daily tweets summaries will remain FO.

Below is a summary of my September reading with links to longer reviews in my journal. I have held one review back awaiting a reading group meeting.

Book 85: A God in Ruins by Kate Atkinson, 2015. 395 pages. Unabridged Audiobook (16 hrs, 29 mins) Read by Alex Jennings. A companion piece to her Life After Life. Review here.

Book 86: The Congregation (Jake and Amanda Bannon #2) by Desiree Bombenon, 2015.262 pages. An improvement on the first in this mystery series. Review here.

Book 87: Abducted (Lizzy Gardner #1) by T. R. Ragan, 2011. 382 pages. Fast paced crime thriller. Review here.

Book 88: Reserved for the Cat (Elemental Masters #6) by Mercedes Lackey. 2007. 400 pages. Unabridged Audiobook (10 hrs, 44 mins). Read by Mirabai Galashan. Loosely based on Puss-in-Boots. Review here.

Book 89: The Scam (Fox and O'Hare #4) by Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldberg, 2015. 304 pages. Latest in this fun crime caper series. Review here.

Book 90: Arcadia by Iain Pears, 2015. 608 pages. Amazing novel that combines several genres. Review here.

Book 91: The Ape Who Guards the Balance (Amelia Peabody #10) by Elizabeth Peters, 1998. 578 pages. Unabridged Audio (15 hrs, 12 mins). Narrated by Barbara Rosenblat. More excitement in Egypt for Amelia and associates. Review here.

Book 92: My Name is N by Robert Karjel, 2010. Translated from the Swedish by Nancy Pick and Robert Karjel, 2015. 352 pages. Unabridged Audiobook (10 hrs, 35 mns). Read by William Hope.
Outstanding political thriller. Review here.

Book 93: A Brief History of Seven Killings by Marlon James, 2014. 704 pages. Fictional account of the 1976 attempted murder of Bob Marley and its aftermath. Review here.

Below is a summary of my August reading with links to longer reviews in my journal.

Book 74: Look Who's Back by Timur Vermes, 2012. Translated from the German by Jamie Bulloch, 2014. 352 pages. Political satire that may not be to everyone's taste as it is narrated by a transported in time Adolph Hitler. Review here.

Book 75: Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson, 1999. 931 pages. Unabridged Audiobook (42 hrs 53 mins) Read by William Dufris. Epic tale about war, cryptology and computers. Review here.

Book 76: The Wizard of London (Elemental Masters #5) by Mercedes Lackey. 2005. 388 pages. Unabridged Audiobook (11 hrs, 44 mins) Read by Michelle Ford. Tale loosely based on The Snow Queen. Review here.

Book 77: Watch the Lady (Tudor Trilogy #3) by Elizabeth Fremantle, 2015. 496 pages. Excellent historical fiction set in Queen Elizabeth I's court. Review here.

Book 78: Seeing a Large Cat (Amelia Peabody #9) by Elizabeth Peters, 1997. 435 pages. Unabridged Audio (14 hrs, 24 mins). Narrated by Barbara Rosenblat. More adventures in Egypt for Amelia and associates. Review here.

Book 79: Die Again (Rizzoli and Isles #11) by Tess Gerritsen, 2014. 352 pages. Forensic thriller with African aspects. Review here.

Book 80: The Offering (Jake and Amanda Bannon #1) by Desiree Bombenon, 2012. 202 pages. Rather poorly written début thriller. Review here.

Book 81: Walking by Night )Joe Plantagenet #5) by Kate Ellis, 2015. 224 pages. Police procedural with ghostly touches.
Book 82: Redemption Department Q #3 by Jussi Adler-Olsen, 2009. Translated from the Danish by Martin Aitken, 2013. 640 pages. Danish police procedural about an eccentric cold case unit. Reviews of Books 81 and 82.

Book 83: Of Monsters and Madness by Jessica Verday, 2014, revised 2015. 307 pages. Gothic melodrama that mashes up some well known horror stories. Review here.

Book 84: And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini, 2013. 416 pages. Family saga set mainly in Afghanistan. Review here.

Below is a summary of my July reading with links to longer reviews in my journal.

Book 63: The Master Magician (Paper Magician Trilogy #3) by Charlie N. Holmberg, 2015. 226 pages. More painful history fail but wanted to finish the trilogy. Review here.

Book 64: Phoenix and Ashes Elemental Masters #4) by Mercedes Lackey. 2004. 400 pages. Unabridged Audiobook (15 hrs, 18 mins) Read by Michelle Ford. Re-telling of Cinderella during Great War. Review here.

Book 65: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll. 1865. Illustrated by John Tenniel. 192 pages.
Book 66: Through the Looking Glass, and What Alice Found There by Lewis Carroll. 1871. Illustrated by John Tenniel.224 pages. Classic works of children's fantasy. Reviews of Books 65 and 66.

Book 67: Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes by Karin Slaughter, 2015. 80 pages. Teaser prequel for her new stand-alone thriller. Inspired me to buy the novel on day of publication.
Book 68: Pretty Girls by Karin Slaughter, 2015. 544 pages. Dark crime thriller full of twists. Reviews of Books 67 and 68.

Book 69: The Hippopotamus Pool (Amelia Peabody #8) by Elizabeth Peters, 1996. 404 pages. Unabridged Audio (14 hrs, 29 mins). Narrated by Barbara Rosenblat. Another in this outstanding series of Egyptology-based mysteries. Review here.

Book 70: Swamp Bones (Temperance Brennan #16.5) by Kathy Reichs, 2014. 98 pages. Everglades based novella.
Book 71: Bones Never Lie (Temperance Brennan #17) by Kathy Reichs, 2014. 323 pages. Case from Monday Mourning returns.
Book 72: Bones on Ice (Temperance Brennan #17.5) by Kathy Reichs, 2015. 104 pages. A death on Mt. Everest provides perplexing vase for Tempe. Reviews of Books 70, 71 and 72.

Book 73: Rising Ground: A Search for the Spirit of Place by Philip Marsden, 2014. 452 pages. Fascinating travel memoir in South West England. Review here.

Below is a summary of my June reading with links to longer reviews in my journal.

Book 56: The Cold Tap by Tom Beckerlegge, 2015. 229 pages. Quirky detective tale with bathing theme. Review here.

Book 57: From the Cradle (DI Patrick Lennon #1) by Louise Voss and Mark Edwards, 2014. 399 pages. Engaging new police procedural series. Review here.

Book 58: The Death Season (Wesley Peterson #19) by Kate Ellis, 2015. 385 pages. Latest in this Devon-based police procedural series. Review here.

Book 59: How to be Both by Ali Smith, 2014. 377 pages. Re-read of this novel that won the 2015 Baileys Women's Prize for Fiction. Review here.

Book 60: The Voice of the Violin (Inspector Montalbano #4) by Andrea Camilleri, 1997. Translated from the Italian by Stephen Sartarelli, 2003. 276 pages. Brilliant series of police procedurals set in Sicily. Review here.

Book 61: Faerie Tale by Raymond E. Feist , 1988. 450 pages. A dark tale of faeries in 1980s New England. Review here.

Book 62: A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki, 2013. 433 pages. Re-read of complex novel set in Canada and Japan. Review here.